Sunday Musings: Difficult People

Ulli Uncategorized Contact

I am currently reading “Dear Mr. Buffett: What An Investor Learns 1,269 miles From Wall Street.” The author is Janet Tavakoli, a well known structured finance and derivatives consultant.

She writes about her “meeting with Warren Buffett on the eve of the greatest market meltdown in history” and how meeting him changed the way she looks at global financial markets.

During their initial meeting, Mr. Buffett talked about something that really resonated with me, and which has been an important part of my business dealings for a long time.

He suggested to Janet that “she is in a position that she should not have to deal with difficult people. There are so many good people to work with that it isn’t necessary to spend time with those who do not recognize the value of your services.”

“Difficult” people! What an eloquent way to put it. I am sure that in your work environment or business dealings, you may have even a more appropriate word for some of the people you encounter but, for this discussion, let’s be polite and use the word “difficult.”

How do you deal with them? In my business, I try to use the old bar adage that I “reserve the right to refuse to serve anyone.” While most potential clients assume that they are picking an investment advisor, I am doing the selection at the same time by making sure during the interview that there is a fit, a common ground and a similar line of thinking.

If there are excessive demands via 40 email exchanges covering the same thing over and over, along with several hours of personal meetings and/or phone calls, I realize that I have encountered a “difficult” person and use my right to refuse to enter into a working relationship.

This very thing happened to me recently when, even after my refusal to work with that person, two more emails came in elaborating how right he had been all along. There are “difficult” people everywhere, even when you least expect it.

For example, you’d think that providing a free service designed to help share experiences and processes about investing, such as my blog (and those of many other bloggers), would invite only readers who appreciate the work and effort, but not so.

Recently, there have been some downright vicious comments, apparently by “difficult” readers with nothing else to do and probably not much of a life going on.

Needless to say, these were not published. The good thing is that these are exceptions, since 99% of those following my blog and newsletter are gracious enough to show their appreciation.

If you are in the fortunate position to have a choice of whom you wish to deal with, heed Mr. Buffett’s words; if not, how do you deal with “difficult” people?

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Comments 7

  1. Ulli,

    Well said. I found your blog and your investment site are very helpful and you go extra miles to personally answer any investment questions from readers.

    You had quickly responded to my questions on the phone three weeks ago about the start-up investment adviser business and I really appreciated that.

    From your advise, I started my own blog called "oceanportfolio.blogspot.com" and began to publish my strategy and idea of investment. I also use kaching.com to publish my performances and I found that this is a good free site for portfolio tracking.

    Again, thank for all the help and your services are always appreciated.

    Simon

  2. Ulli,
    Very well said. I for one truly appreciate your free blog/newsletter. You have helped me develope my trend following strategy on several occassions by taking the time to answer my questions.
    Non constructive postings by difficult people on your blog are best just ignored. No rationale reason for any methodology debate.
    Please keep up the great free service you offer to us trend followers out there!
    Paul G.

  3. Ulli:

    Sorry to hear that you have encountered some "difficult" people. Just ignore them by blocking their e-mails. You provide an exceptionally helpful and instructive service that is a great value to all your readers. For me you have provided an investment philosophy and process that will provide me with economic security for which I am truly appreciative. Best regards, Dan K in Holland, Ohio.

  4. Ulli,
    While I am not a fan of Warren Buffett's model of investing, his advice, about difficult people, seems sound, if the person receiving the advice, is in a life-position, where she or he has enough control over who she or he working environment so that she or he can decide whether or not to work with a person or not.

    Before I retired from a long career, as a psychotherapist, I went to the best continuing education seminar (they are required, in order to maintain your license), which I ever attended. It was titled something like, "Dealing with Dangerous Clients." It was put on by an attorney, Thomas L. Hartsell, Jr., JD, who specialized in defending psychotherapists, in malpractice suits and other pursuits, which were helpful to psychotherapists. Although Mr. Hartsell said that he knew enough, from having done this work for so long, that it would be easy for him to "go to the other side" and do civil suits AGAINST psychotherapists, he refused to do so. He has published several books, which are very helpful for psychotherapists.

    Anyway, there were many excellent ideas with which I came away from the seminar. One was how to identify clients who would be dangerous to psychotherapists regarding the client suing the therapist. Another was how much aggravation some clients will give me and whether it is worth it for me to take them on as clients. Mr. Hartsell suggested that therapists have 4 to 6 sessions, I believe, as evaluation sessions, and tell the potential clients this; tell them that during these 4 to 6 sessions you both see if you think you can work together. If you both think you can, then you both sign a contract, detailing fees, cancellation policies, etc. (You have a shorter, interim contract, in the beginning, though.)

    You pointed out some characteristics, which the attorney would say would be dangerous clients for therapists, and I would think they would also be for financial planners, too. I believe: excessive demands through an abnormally high number of e-mail exchanges; endless phone calls and attempts to meet, etc. Translating these into what a psychotherapist's client would be like, these would be warning signs to the psychotherapist that the client was going to be dangerous, with which to work.

    Mr. Hartsell spared me endless agony. After his seminar, I was able to spot, very quickly, those clients with which it was not safe for me with which to work. Prior to his workshop, I would have worked with some of these dangerous clients, and they caused me difficulties, which were not worth any amount of fees.

    For you, I think, in providing some of your services, such as this blog/newsletter, which are free, I certainly think you are well within your rights to decide with whom you will work and with whom you will not. I found, with dangerous people, you have to take care of yourself, because they certainly do not have any interest, in your well-being at heart — only theirs. Believe me, they can be very dangerous.

  5. Ulli,

    you have always returned my calls and answered my emails promtly.

    As a paying client I can attest that you work very hard and are worth every penny that your fees equate to.

    Remember the 80/20 rule. 20% of the people create 80% of the problems.

    Hang in there.

    Brett

  6. Hi Ulli,
    When I was in charge of a major change in a large organisation my work was often frustrated by extreme negativity by some people in that workplace. The job became much easier when I learned that 30% of people are averse to any change. It seems that is the normal response to change in that percent of the population. My job became much more enjoyable and easier when I stopped debating the need for change with those recalcitrants (or non-believers).

    Remember also that your investing methodology makes sense and money for your readers, and we all thank you for that. Most investors are still stuck in buy and hold dogma, and perhaps are now fearful because that dogma has failed. Traditional investing has a set of beliefs, like a religion, and so it is not surprising that some folks get a bit emotional when their beliefs are challenged or they patently let them down.

    I enjoy reading your blog every day (even tho' I am not a US resident).

    David

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